Supreme Gentlemen

ninjzz3.0's picture

Incels - The internet's "Supreme Gentlemen"

Feel Sorry ?

Their own Fault?

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danmanjones's picture

Yeah it's their own fault & their parents fault for not socialising them properly. It's their fault for thinking that a woman will make them happy. I don't know any personally so whatever.

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phanto's picture

As an asexual who remains single by choice I believe I have a relevant perspective to share about this:

 

 

I think a very big contributing factor in all of this is how society and culture broadly glorifies relationships. The vast majority of stories, movies and TV shows portrays romantic relationship as the ultimate success of the hero. You are constantly force fed the idea that the only thing that matters for someone is to find love and found a family. A disproportional amount of stories depict a main protagonist whose life is improved by an unrealistic margin by the simple fact of finding love. At the end the hero gets the girl. It has become a condition to success. Even in advertizings products, activities and services are often advertized as enjoyable only by a pair of people. And don't get me started on Valentine's day. You feel like this is being rubbed in your face no matter where you go. 

 


On top of that the vast majority of your friends and co-workers around you are in relationships as well. You are the odd-ball person out. It also often happens that in a conversation people will ask you if you have a significant other. When your response is "no" a lot of them react like there is something wrong with you. And this is nothing compared to the direct pressure your parents and family can exert on you to get into a relationship.

 


With such external pressure there is no wonder why many single people see relationships as a confirmation of self-worth and a condition for success. If someone is struggling to find intimate relationship and on top of that he suffers from depression then he will have unrealistic expectations of what finding such a relationship could do to improve his life. Very often it results in this person getting tunnel vision on his lack of relationship as the only possible cause for everything that goes wrong in his life without and overlook other causes. These other causes being very possibly the reasons why that person can't get in a relationship to begin with.

 

 

To come back to my own personal life experience, even though I didn't have the sex drive to push me towards a relationship the effects of external pressure was still very real. For years I did feel like I was less of a person for not being in a relationship. I had that constant, creeping nagging thought in the back of my head that maybe I was wrong about myself, that I had to do something about it. Everything that reminded me of relationships made me feel frustrated and angry. It took me trying a relationship, which I ended abruptly after I realized my mistake, that I finally could silence those nagging thoughts and learn to ignore that pressure and not give a shit about what others might think.

 


However those who don't learn this can get stuck in a downward spiral of depression, jealousy and hatred towards others. These incel people are ill and should be treated as such.

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danmanjones's picture
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